Read this today thought it was brilliant:
The Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
The Silver Rule: Do for yourself as much as you do for others.
The Iron Rule: Don’t do for anyone what they can do for themselves.
March 3, 2009
Mom and I ate lunch with my sis-in-law today. We talked about several things including a friend of hers who is going through a rough patch. She works full time, has two small children and a husband fighting cancer. He just lost his leg to the disease.
I came back to the office to find an e-mail from a friend. She had just gotten home from the hospital where she was coloring with one of her friends kids. Her friend has a brain tumor that they are trying to remove. The surgery started about 7 this morning and they hope to be finished somewhere around 7 tonight.
Whenever I have a conversation about someone who is going through a rough time, someone usually makes the comment about how much they take for-granted in terms of health, family, job, etc. And then the conversation always turns to ‘what can we do for them’.
I was telling my SIL today, we’ve become a society that is so engrossed in our own lives and thinking we have to accomplish things on our own, that we’ve not only forgotten how to be neighborly, but also how to accept people being neighborly towards us.
So many times, it seems like we don’t know what to say or do for our friends in need. Yes…prayer is of primary importance and I would advocate that for anyone watching a friend struggle. But often, not only do I want to do more, but I am more the perfectly able to do so — so why shouldn’t I? After all, this is a friend in need. I love them! But how do I let them know?
Depending on the situation there are two methods you can follow (Well, probably three, but I’m going to take for-granted that you tell your friend how much they mean to you!):
A) The indirect method: mail a note (old school post-office style!), send some flowers or a gift that tugged at your heart strings. Sometimes, your friend doesn’t need to talk, she just needs to know you’re there and you’re thinking about her. I’ll never forget one time, I heard a woman in my church speak about her autistic twin sons. I had sang with her in choir, but I didn’t know her especially well. When she spoke though, it was obvious how frustrated she was. I tucked the book “Motherhood, the Second Oldest Profession” by Erma Bombeck in her choir folder slot, along with a note that told her to read the chapter about “Special Mothers” If you haven’t read the book, that particular chapter talks about all the wonderful gifts that God grants a mother of a special needs child. I saw her not too long ago. She still keeps that book in her nightstand, even though it’s years later, because sometimes she just needs a reminder that others are out there.
Likewise…I got a Valentines Day card from my friend Beth in Vermont, just because she knew what a rough day it was going to be. It meant the world that she thought of me 
B) The direct method: Often, a friend who is struggling can’t make decisions anymore. They don’t know what they need, when they need it or how they are going to get it. Sometimes, ya gotta get in there and take charge. I often offer to bring dinner to people who are sick/moving etc. They always say that they don’ t need it, but if you show up with food, you’re often welcomed in with open arms. Sometimes with tears and hugs too.
It’s not just about food though…people need all kinds of help! Offer to pick up their groceries, chauffeur them around so they can think between errands, help them clean their house (or just do it for them!), babysit their kids…if you start to think of it, there are TONS of little things you can do to help a friend.
A couple of years ago, my friend Ryan moved my dryer out so that I could sweep behind it and clean out the lint. It didn’t even take him 5 minutes to move that dryer out. It did, however, take him about 1/2 hour to calm me down from my crying spell. I was so excited and thrilled that someone was coming to help me, that all I could do was cry about it.
So…there ya go. A few ideas about being neighborly. Just don’t forget…if someone tries to be neighborly to you, LET THEM and say thank-you!
Ciao!
Sara
PS – If anyone wants to practice being neighborly, my garbage disposal isn’t working…and something is leaking under there 
January 31, 2009
It seems like almost everyone I know is on a diet of some kind. The most popular amongst the people I know? Weight Watchers. Me included.
Weight Watchers works under the philosophy that it’s not a diet, it’s a lifestyle. Home-made hot fudge sauce, Texas sheet cake, pecan balls, bread pudding with whisky sauce, creme brulee, cheesecake and truffles are things that I would like in my lifestyle on a daily basis, but I just don’t have enough points to consume them all. What’s a girl to do? Compromise. It’s an ugly word, but a necessary one.
Here’s a recipie for Chocolate Haystacks. It actually tastes great and each haystack is only one point. Totally within my point range! The other great things about it? It’s quick and it doesn’t make a lot. Here we go:
WW 1 Point Chocolate Haystacks
In a microwave safe bowl, melt 1 Hershey bar and 1 Tablespoon low-fat peanut butter. If you’ve never melted chocolate in the microwave before, it’s pretty easy: nuke for 30, stir, repeat until melted.
Combine the melted chocolaty-peanut-buttery-goodness with 1 Cup Fiber One Cereal. Yes — we’re coating that nasty dog food blech stuff with goooooooood chocolate. Stir to Combine.
Scoop by rounded spoonfuls onto a parchment lined baking sheet. Make six little lovely brown little blops of bliss. Stick the whole cookie sheet in the fridge to firm up.
Keep in the fridge until ready to eat.
See? No cooking, 6 cookies at only 1 point each, and only 5 minutes in the kitchen. Does it get any better? Enjoy!
January 20, 2009
When Grandma J. moved out of the farmhouse, us grandkids were allowed to pick one item that meant something to us. Civil war swords, furniture and walking sticks were among some of the goodies that we have to remember our grandparents by.
If I could take one thing from my parents house, I wouldn’t have to think twice. The bathtub. (Disclaimer: Mrs. GotRocks ever growing wedding band isn’t technically in the house all the time, so it doesn’t count!)
Their bathtub is PERFECT. I love it when I’m there, and miss it when I’m gone. Here’s why it’s so great:
1) It’s deep. Way deep. Deep enough to come up to my chin when I recline. The bathtub in my house holds enough water to wash the backs of your legs and your buttocki.
2)Even though it’s deep, it’s “normal” tub size. It fit’s into what was a normal shower/tub combo when I was growing up. Normal tub size is important for a few reasons:
- A) Garden tubs have too much surface area. The water cools off WAY too quickly. This isn’t as much of a problem if your tub is normal size. Mom and Dad’s keeps water hot for at least 1/2 hour. At forty-five minutes, it’s comfortable. If you stay in over an hour, you’ll have to drain partway and add more hot water, but by that time the hot water tank has cycled and everything is peachy.
- B) Garden tubs and wider tubs don’t contain your body, and if it gets too deep you can end up floating from side to side. I know — I had a garden tub once in an apartment I had. It was such a disappointment.
- C) I’m an oompa loompa. Mom and Dad’s tub is long enough that I can recline with my knees at a slight angle, or fully extend them on the side of the tub. Or I can push against the end of the tub and slide up into a sitting position. I never realized this was important until I babysat one week-end at Cousin Clydesdale’s house. They’re all tall over there, and their bathtub reflects it. I curled up at the far end of the tub and then would have to swim down to the faucet end to adjust the water temperature or turn the spicket off. Which reminds me of…
- D) At Cousin Clydesdale’s house, I couldn’t reach the knobs from a seated position in the tub. So, after I swam down to get to the faucet, I had to stand up and shiver and adjust the water **sigh** Mom and Dad’s tub is completely controllable by your toes.
3) It reclines. The back end of the tub isn’t straight up and down, but at the perfect angle recline-ation. The angle is low enough to be comfortable, but still high enough to be able to read or sip wine without spilling it in your bathwater (although it’s OK if a little gets in…alcohol is just extra disinfectant. I’m sure it makes you cleaner. Or softer. Something.)
4) Not only does it recline…but it has ARMRESTS. Yes. I know. Genius. Little ledges are molded into the sides of the tub. You can rest your elbows on them as you hold your book up. Of course. I can only read for about 15 minutes before the wine kicks in and my arms go limp. I admit that I have ruined more than one book by falling asleep while reading in the tub. I also missed the school bus once because I fell asleep in the tub, but I didn’t have any wine that time. I don’t feel bad about that though — I’m not the only one in the family who has a painful history of sleeping in the bathroom.
5) It has jets. I don’t use them, but they’re there if you need them. They make TONS of bubbles, which was a novelty when they first got the tub. I have since discovered that I’m not a fan of the bubbles. I can’t ever get rinsed off fully and then I feel itchy all day. I much prefer oils or bath beads. The cool thing about the jets is after several years, there seems to be a short in the system. Now the jets turn on by themselves, unannounced and with no invitation. It’s like the tub just wants you to know that it’s excited you’re there, so it gives you a spontaneous bubble party. Isn’t that nice?
Sometimes I spend the night at Mom and Dads…just to commune with their tub. Shh…don’t tell them!
Ciao!
Sara
5)
January 20, 2009
So, I decided to stay at the job I don’t like…but only for 3 days a week. They have agreed to pay more than what they wanted, but less than what I wanted. Compromise stinks, but it’s better than nothing.
Today was my first day “alone.” And it went alright. The office is in the basement of their house, and I have only talk radio and ice cold fingers to keep me company. I did come up a bit today to run to the post office and conduct some primary interviews.
We ran an ad for laborers a couple of weeks ago. I called the last batch of responses and sat up interviews for today. Since the office is in a residence, we do open interviews at a local coffee house. I go down and just talk to each person for about 15 minutes. Sometimes, it’s overwhelming. Today, not so much. No one came. No one called to cancel or say they couldn’t find the place. I can’t help but wonder…do we have an unemployment problem…or do we have an “I can’t wait for the Obama share the wealth train to come through so I don’t have to work anymore.” Seriously. 67 phone calls. 30 people asked to come in. No one calls…no one shows. Nice.
Here’s the kicker about the job though. When I was first hired, I was told that I would have to produce a Credit Bureau Report. Apparently they have had problems in the past with office staff opening credit cards in the owners name/company name. I’ve been asked to produce a CBR before. When I worked collections, many agencies had policies about debt loads/types of debt…depending on what they were collecting. I didn’t think much of it. I had recently pulled a free CBR at the time I was hired, so I brought it in. I didn’t see the owners for about a month after being hired. When I did see them, the CBR wasn’t mentioned. I ended up shredding it, cause I don’t like those things just laying around.
Now they are requesting it again and I don’t want to produce it. The trust has been lost. I fear that they are justifying my pay raise, not looking for fraud. I also find it suspicious that the other office staff hasn’t been required to produce theirs.
Speaking of the other office staff…she’s officially on maternity leave. May the baby come early and she decide to come back quickly!
Ciao!
Sara
